Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Happy Birthday Angie, I miss you dearly.

Today Angie would have been 24 years old, young in so many peoples eye, but an age she never made it to. This is the fourth birthday she has spent in heaven, partying with the big guy.
beautiful birthday flowers her Aunt made

No words can even share how much I miss her and think about her. She was taken away too soon.

Sometimes cancer and medical problems aren't the only thing that take young lives. A flash flood took away this amazing girl and it still seems so unfair.

Angela was amazing, smart, hilarious and genuinely cared about people.

I know if she were here today, there would be so many more funny stories I could share about us, probably embarrassing or the stories you only tell to really good friends. She would be doing great things and this year would have celebrated with her first nephew.

Today is a hard day for her family and it is so hard not being there, this year they do have a new addition to their family and I know it helps heal her parents. Angie would have been the type of aunt that you could go to for anything and she would probably let you get away with eating and doing things that Mom might say no too.

Birthdays hold a whole new meaning to me, just because I know what it is like the first time you hold your baby and how you will remember every year that first feeling of love that came over you, when you saw your child. No mother thinks that they will outlive their children, I pray that I won't, but I know that God has plans and sometimes they don't make sense or seem fair.

Such an amazing women
Pok Cha and Mark I am thinking and praying for you guys today. I know you never imagined that she wouldn't be here today. But you guys have taught me so much about God's plan, that I know you guys are staying strong. I miss you guys a lot, and know that Jackson has to be a blessing in keeping the spirits   up. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Spoke Too Soon

Vince threw up again and isn't eating. We have an appointment tomorrow at 10 and until then I have no idea what to do. I keep pushing him to drink an eat, but it's not working. Any ideas until tomorrow?

Our Crazy Weekend!!

Well a little bit longer than a weekend, but in my stay at home mommy world, just about every day is the weekend.

Thursday one of my best friends, who was also my beauty school roommate, was driving cross country and going to stop in good ole' Albuquerque! I was so excited since she has a 5 month old and I haven't seen her in almost 4 years!! And I probably won't see her for another long while due to the fact she is moving to Japan, her hubby is in the Navy and that's where they are getting stationed (I'm jealous! I want to go to Japan, our day will come hopefully.)

When they first got here Vince was napping, so we helped them get settled, then Vince woke up and was no happy. Then their 2 little yorkie's came running into his room and he FREAKED! He was terrified of the dogs the whole time they were here. We had to have them stay in the guest room the whole time, because he would scream and shake if he saw them. I guess he is just used to big champ and has never seen a little dog before.

The rest of the day he was grumpy, his top teeth are still cutting through and I think his lovely wake up call by the dogs pissed him off for the rest of the day. He didn't want to sleep, play or be happy. And let me tell you Danette's angle of a child Roman, is the happiest, chillest baby I have ever seen! So she was in quite shock to see little monster Vince! Thursdays we just relaxed and didn't do much. Friday morning they were going to leave early, but some of their plans got changed and we were able to get some bagels and Starbucks for breakfast. 

I had such a good time having them here, I miss having close friends around, especially ones with babies that won't care if all you talk about is your baby.

Saturday Vince woke up throwing up, it was strange he seemed so happy but would throw up EVERYTHING! He maybe kept down 4-5oz that day. I got really scared at night because he wouldn't eat and was now throwing up bile. We took him to the E.R. and they ended giving us nausea medicine and Pedialyte. This trip rolled over into Sunday since we were there until 3 am!

This doesn't look like a boy who has been throwing up all day!!
9:41 rolled around sunday morning and although Vince hadn't thrown up since the night before, now he wouldn't eat! We were constantly trying to give him Pedialyte and milk, but he wouldn't drink it. He would eat some food, but not much. All we could do was try, otherwise he was happy and wanted to nap a ton!!! That night he wasn't sleeping the best and he threw up after his nighttime bottle, so I decided to sleep with him in the guest bedroom. 

Monday morning I woke up feeling like total crap!! My stomach was killing me, I thought I was going to throw up, I was miserable. I have only thrown up 2 times from being sick, and not once while preggers did I have morning sickness {thank the Lord!!} I didn't know how I was even going to function all day, Vince still wouldn't eat and was refusing more than Sunday, he still had no fever and peeing just enough for me not to worry. So we slept, we slept all day long. It is just what we needed, I even brought him in our bed until Jacob came home from work, then he moved to his crib the rest of the night. As soon as Jacob got home, he threw up. I could tell it was going to be a long night for him, I was still exhausted and offered to get him water, but I was still out of commission. 

This morning I woke up feeling SO MUCH BETTER!! I thought it would never come, I could eat and drink and Vince drank his whole bottle and I wasn't even forcing him!!! No Jacob is starting to feel better, weird how we all caught a bug. Don't know from where or why, but we all got it, and all hated it!!! 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

G.I. Appointment

So last week I told you guys that Vince needed to go back to the g.i. When we went I asked a number of things. Told him how Vince had been acting and what I had been feeding him.

He told me again that the Neocate formula is a lot thinner than normal formula and that he is probably hungry. Which to me makes sense, since he doesn't like too many foods. He suggested that we try to wean Vince off the Neocate and try a gentle normal formula. Starting with 1oz in his normal bottle and adding an ounce every 5 days. He also said to bump up the miralax, because he thinks constipation is part of the problem as well. He also had Vince get his blood drawn so they could do a blood allergy test.

Well we started the formula transition and At first it seemed ok. The second day he spit up twice and seemed a bit more fussy and the third day he spit up 3 times and was extremely fussy. That same day we got the allergy results that showed he is allergic to milk and egg whites. Milk was lower on the scale, but egg whites were pretty high up there. We stopped the gentle formula and he told us since the test didn't show a positive for soy, that in a week we try to switch to soy.

I was very shocked at the eggs result. But when I think back to when I was breast feeding that is something I never cut out. Eggs are in so many things and I pray that Vince grows out of this allergy as well as milk.

Thursday we will be starting the slow addition of soy into his formula. I'm nervous, but hope he does ok with it and fills him up. Soy is something we have never tried and I am an optimist, so I think it will too Vincey's belly some good!!!

Did I also mention that Vince slept all night last night!!!! Hallelujah!! Not lets not jinx it!!!

Monday, May 14, 2012

8 Month Old

Well actually he will be 9 months in 3 days but I kept forgetting to make this post and I love looking back, so here goes nothing.
the best I could get

8 months! I can't believe that it has been this long. I look at Vince everyday and am enamored at the new things he is learning and doing!

This month has been a bit crazy, but we made it through. Vince loved bath time and walks to the park. Now it is getting a little warmer those walks are becoming a little less frequent.

Still not the biggest solids fan, but everyday we try to get him to eat as much as we can. He loves his milk!!

Napping is going good, one morning nap a middle of the day nap and if we are lucky a quick 20 minute nap later on. Bed time is still early, and with all attempts to try to push it back a little bit, it always ends up around 6-ish-6:30.

Milestones are flying let and right. From scooting to crawling. I can't even catch up!! I love it!!!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

My First Mother's Day Ramble

As I look back on almost 9 months of being a mother, I tear up. It has all gone so fast and has been truly amazing. Watching Vince grow, hit milestones, and become a little boy is so rewarding. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Vincent has taught me so many things, patience is probably the biggest. Because lets face it, when you have a baby screaming their little head off, you can't walk away. You have to put your big momma panties on and make your baby feel better or try your hardest. Sure there were times where I had no idea what to do when he was spitting up mass amount or crying and inconsolable. But I was there and I was doing my best I could to make little guy comfortable and know even though he is going through this, that we are here for him. I'm a firm believer in that babies can sense our emotions and attitudes daily.

Also the fact, I never knew I could love someone so much. When he first was plopped onto my belly feeling all sticky icky, I melted. I became a Mother. I have done things I swore I would never do and haven't done things I thought I would. You really don't know until you become a mom and learn what your baby likes and doesn't like, that you can really make decisions.

Judgement is also something that I don't do to other Moms now. When I was pregnant if I heard a mother of a young baby saying they formula fed, I would judge them. I would think in my head, why don't they just breast feed. And if you have been following my blog since Vince was born you know that my struggles with breast feeding were hard and had to come to and end a lot sooner than I wanted. Now I am the one getting judged and it hurts. People see that Vince is on formula and give me dirty looks, question me on why and say pretty down right rude things. I have heard it all from 'if you wanted it bad enough, you would have made it work' to 'Why aren't you doing the best for your baby?' So moms out there or soon to be moms, some people don't want to stop breast feeding and when you question them on why they don't, please remember that we have feelings too and just because you think you're supermom and can judge, you might be really hurting someones feeling. So please try to find out why, and honestly you will never know how hard it is unless you were in my shoes. Ok enough of that little rant, I could do a whole post on it!!

Becoming a Mom also makes me love my mom a little more. Know that I was once her little bundle of joy and being her only child, I can only imagine how she felt her first Mother's day. Knowing that I was only a couple months old, I am sure she was tired, but also very blessed. I have an amazing Mother, who I consider one of my best friends. I thank her even more this Mothers day because I know how hard and rewarding it really is. And knowing that I was little miss attitude when I was a teen, I want to really thank her for putting up with me! And also knowing that this is my Moms first Mother's day without her Mom, has to be hard. I know my Grandma is looking down on all of us and sending extra love to my Mom, her Sisters and Brother. First holidays after losing someone are hard, but we have the best guardian angel watching over us.

I love being a Mother and can't wait to see what the future holds for my little family.

And to all you Mother's out there, even the mean judgmental ones {had to} Happy Mother's Day.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Thank You, Thank You

For all the kind words both on here and Instagram about balancing.

I need to find that schedule that works for me. And I also do prioritize and blogging always comes last, which as of lately means a very neglected blog.

I also need to use my DSLR camera more. I always just use my iPhone and when I look at the quailty, I wish it were taken on my big camera.

Also need to post all of the crafts I have been doing. I don't do tutorials because I kinda half-ass {pardon my language, half-butt sounds weird!} do every craft and you don't want to see that.

I also found this on Pinterest and fell in love!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

How do you find your blogging/parenting/life balance?

Lately this has been a huge question on my mind. 

I am feeling like there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything I want accomplished. I read tons of blogs of moms of multiple children, who get done up everyday, go to the gym, craft, cook, blog and so on. I am lucky if I make it to the gym and cook!

I miss blogging, I truly do. And I know that down the line when I want to look back I will be mad at myself for not documenting this time. I need to make for time for it. Maybe even need to break out the laptop and do some blogging downstairs. But our laptop is a PC and I love the iMac.

A big part of the problem is my craft/guest/office is a mess. I have been sewing so much that there is fabric everywhere and each time I look at it to clean it, i get to overwhelmed and shut the door.

So you momma's and non momma's for that matter how do you find your balance?? Do you have a schedule? What do you do I would love to know!!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Back to the G.I. Doctor

So for the past couple weeks Vince has been waking up rather frequently during the middle of the night, and sometimes crying/screaming for upwards of 45 minutes before he will fall asleep. And this is crying that is done in my arms, not alone in his crib.

First we thought teething, but he would arch his back and his stomach was always really hard and it felt like he was trying to get something out. So I called the doctor and moved our appointment up.

So tired after his blood draw
Bright and early yesterday morning we headed off. Once we met with the doctor we talked about what was going on. I told him how Vince doesn't like many foods or it makes him too gassy. He suspected that not being full, constipation and cramps is the culprit. He also suggested that we do a blood allergy test. Although they get a lot of false negatives hopefully they will show us something that's going on. They tested for wheat, milk, soy, egg whites and egg yolks. We should get the results on Thursday. He also suggested trying to transition off Neocate to a sensitive formula. He have us Gentlease and recommended doing 1oz to 6oz neocate then slowly adding more. I'm terrified or the switch, because I know how it was when he was on it before. But I know I need to at least try it.

I don't want to put him back on any meds because babies can become dependent on them and it doesn't seem to be the main problem. I'm hoping all this works and we can both sleep a little bit more peacefully.

All they tested for

Monday, May 7, 2012

take me out to the ball game

This weekend the weather was beautiful and the local triple a base ball team was having a day game. We have never been to a game in our almost 2 years of living here and we were totally missing out! The stadium is beautiful and the tickets were a great price!
Seriously how cute is he!

I wore Vince in the Ergo and back carried him for the first time, he loved it!!! During the game there were plenty of open seats so he even got his own. At about the 6th inning he was getting restless and needed to nap and since he won't nap in the Ergo we headed home.
A little souvenir 

He instantly feel asleep in the car and when we got home he even napped for a little while.

All in all it was a great time and we will definitely be going to the ball park more often!!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Blah, Blah, Blah

The title explains it all.

This will be the ramble of all rambles!

First off thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers for Jacob, unfortunately he did not get picked up this fiscal year, but he does get to go back in September and re-try which they normally don't let people do. He passed everything just needs to work on swimming and his leadership. Since he a Staff Sergeant he needs to hold a higher level of leadership and reflect his rank. They told him, he had great ideas, but never stepped up to insure they followed through. He is so positive about the whole situation. He said it was the hardest week of his life and his feet showed it!! The entire balls of his feet has giant blisters. Nasty!

We have a hands and knees crawler!! He is everywhere, when he wants to get somewhere fast he does do  lay on his belly and use his arms to pull himself. He is a speedster that way!!! He can also grab things and almost stand up. He has no fears and I have to watch him so carefully!!

Vince hasn't been sleeping the best, we don't know if it is acid reflux related or due to constipation. He isn't on meds for reflux and takes miralax 2-3 times a day. We go to the G.I. Doctor on Monday and I am going to ask what tests we can do, to look deeper into why he still cries so much and seems to be in pain, mainly during the night time. I feel so bad for him, we are also thinking wheat may be an intolerance, or I am being a hypochondriac.

I have been busy making shirts, which is awesome! I really do enjoy making them!! I am also going to make some rice heat bags. Vince loves his and I have had a couple people say they would like them as well.

As for fitness, I have been doing AWESOME if I may say so myself. I have been doing a lot of CrossFit and weight training. I need to pick my cardio  up, I have totally slacked since I got my wisdom teeth out. I am now 1 little pound away from pre Vincent weight, and plan on losing around 5 more on top of that.

Can't believe I am posting this, but I am doing a picture a day challenge for fitness, this is me on May 1st. I have a long way to go!

Since we will be here in Albuquerque for Vincents 1st birthday, we have decided that we will make the trip to Tucson to have his party. I will go a week before and Jacob will drive out a couple days before. I want to do so many crafts and DIY things for the party, so I am hoping that a week is enough!!

That is all for now! Jacob is back at work and tonight I plan of starting more posts, I truly miss blogging and need to catch back up!!!


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